I'm Judging All The Time And I Think You Are Too
Hold up, let me explain myself.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary JUDGEMENT means to form an opinion.
There’s more but this is enough for me to make my point.
Whenever I meet people or interact with someone on or offline, I make a judgement about that person and about what they are saying to me.
I judge but I aim to judge fairly and with kindness. I hope others will judge me the same way.
People often say that I’m their safe place to talk because I’m not judgemental. I’m so happy that people feel that way about me and I understand their meaning and they’re right to some extent.
I am a safe person to talk with whether that’s as a coach, or with family or friends.
I won’t judge you if I come to your house and it’s a mess.
I won’t judge you if you tell me you’ve said unkind things to your spouse (or just thought them).
I won’t judge you if you’re wearing the same outfit every time I see you (to be fair I wouldn’t notice)
But, I will have a judgment about you.
A few days ago I received a message from someone that I care about deeply, they asked if they could speak freely about a personal matter that was going on within their family.
I replied, “Of course.”
They went on to say that I never judge them.
This person told me about family arguments and the horrible way it made them feel.
During the messaging, I did make a judgement about the person and the other people involved and the whole situation.
It’s normal.
We all do it.
The judgement I made of this person was that she is kind and thoughtful and sometimes other people’s actions and words get too much to deal with causing her to voice her feelings.
I judge that when needed this person can verbally stand up for herself and what she believes in. She can defend the people she loves appropriately even if others do not show the same respect.
Make your own judgement based on your own experience with a person
Judge fairly and kindly as much as possible
I’ve found that people who judge others negatively do two things.
They assume everyone is judging them negatively too
They judge themselves negatively
Keep this in mind if you feel that you are being unfairly judged by someone.
A little doggie tale
If you’re a dog owner or any pet owner, I’m pretty sure you’ll relate to this.
My dog totally judges me. I see that look that says “You’re so weird.”
But, a dog loves you unconditionally. I am weird but he thinks I’m the best person on this entire planet.
I have a lovely little magnet that says “If your dog thinks you’re the best, don’t seek a second opinion.” I love this.
Judge yourself wisely
Do you like yourself?
Do you like the way you show up?
Do you like the way you present yourself?
Do you like the way you behave?
If you answered YES, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you.
If you answered NO, make changes, and drop me a comment if you want help with this.
Okay, so there you have it. These are my thoughts on judging. What do you think?
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